


leave your lover

by kaitycole



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28520556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitycole/pseuds/kaitycole
Summary: Kindaichi loves Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi loves Oikawa. Oikawa is in Argentina.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Kindaichi Yuutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	leave your lover

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics are from Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith. Highly recommend listening to it!

**I don't have much to give, but I don't care for gold  
What use is money, when you need someone to hold? **

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He knows it’s a bad idea, he knows he should just make up an excuse to leave, but if he had a weak spot it would be the man in front of him. You see, Kindaichi Yutaro has been hopelessly in love with Iwaizumi Hajime since he saw him spike for the first time back at Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High. Kunimi used to joke that Kindaichi had stood there as Iwa’s hand smacked the ball onto the other side of the net with his jaw dropped and sparkles in his eyes which Kindaichi denied wholeheartedly.

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Kindaichi found himself under Iwaizumi’s wing, the upperclassman quickly becoming a mentor to the underclassman. He could’ve sworn the warmth in his chest was just from the admiration he had for the Ace, that it was normal to feel nervous around the one of the people he looks most up to. He chalked it up to the same nervousness he felt when he met his favorite graphic novel artist.

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When the time came for the third years to go to high school, Kindaichi was left feeling empty knowing he wouldn’t be standing on the same court as his mentor anymore. It didn’t take long for him to know exactly where he wanted to attend high school: Aoba Johsai. His decision to attend Seijoh came mostly because they had a good volleyball team in Miyagi, but it was also, in a very small way, because he knew Iwaizumi went there. And it wasn’t until he was standing on the same court as his once mentor, that he felt the warmth in his chest return, the remnants of his school boy crush.

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**Don't have direction, I'm just rolling down this road  
Waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold **

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It wasn’t news to anyone that Iwaizumi and Oikawa practically shared a brain, many joked they had some weird, almost psychic connection. It wasn’t new to Kindaichi to see Oikawa hang all over Iwaizumi, shouting “Iwa-chan” to get his oldest friend’s attention. But what was new to the first year was the overwhelming feeling that flowed through him, causing his hands to clinch into fists whenever Oikawa’s touch lingered on the Ace.

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Then came the day he felt his heart sink, his stomach dropped, his world cracked when he stumbled on the two kissing one day before practice in the club room. Everything clicked into the place the way the door clicked behind him. That year long school boy crush in junior high was something more, the almost smothering feeling in his chest was jealousy of the setter and Ace’s relationship and the empty feeling he felt now was the realization he never stood a chance with Iwaizumi. 

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He decided to shove his feelings down regardless of how much it hurt and for the first time in his life, he appreciated the two-year age gap between them because he wasn’t sure if he’d survive being around them longer than a year.

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**You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain  
Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name **

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Which is why he had panic in his chest when he saw Iwaizumi wave him over from the other side of the campus quad and he suddenly felt like he was walking on eggshells all over again. It’s why when Iwaizumi eagerly patted his shoulder, telling Kindaichi how good it is to see him, he felt like disappearing. The weight of Iwa’s touch gave him the not so subtle reminder that even after three years, the crush he thought had fizzled out was now a roaring flame, demanding his attention. 

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**Pack up and leave everything/ Don't you see what I can bring  
Can't keep this beating heart at bay **

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He lets out an exhaled sigh, tossing the pomade container on the sink a little too hard causing the lid to crack. He stares at his hair that decided it wasn’t going to work with him today as he chews his bottom lip. 

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_It’s just drinks with a friend, breathe. It’s not like it’s a date._

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**Set my midnight sorrow free/ I will give you all of me**

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Getting to the bar is easy, it’s the local one close enough to campus that the students have adopted it as their hotspot, finding Iwaizumi through the sea of people proved to be an Olympic sport all on its own. He finally finds him, already a few drinks in at a corner booth that Kindaichi slips into, letting out a relieved sigh.

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There are still a few minutes before the two were technically supposed to meet, but it seems Iwaizumi started without him. He isn’t too offended about it, Kunimi made it a point to remind him that he’s a lightweight and should take extra caution, though his best friend would’ve preferred if Kindaichi had just rejected the invitation altogether.

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“Kindaichi!” Iwaizumi slurs, lifting his beer in the air like some sort of celebration when he sits down.

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“I see you started without me.” He tries to make it a joke, but the words get stuck in this throat, having a feeling that there was a deeper meaning to getting drinks instead of just catching up.

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“Sorry.” Iwaizumi’s cheeks are red, a mixture of alcohol and embarrassment, but all Kindaichi can focus on is the adorable sloppy smile on his senpai’s face.

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He tries to steer the conversation away from what he thinks is bothering Iwaizumi, assuming it has to do with course loads or finals but he knows that’s not it when Iwa’s face drops at the mention of Oikawa. Kindaichi knew Oikawa talked about going overseas, that Oikawa was crazy enough to do something like that, but he thought he might’ve gone somewhere closer when he and Iwa got together.

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**We sit in bars and raise our drinks to growing old  
Oh, I'm in love with you and you will never know**

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His heart cracks as he hears Iwa’s voice sloppily slur his explanation on how selfish he feels, how he should be happy for their former setter, but how can be happy when he feels so empty? He told himself he’d have two beers before he cut himself out, but Iwaizumi just kept ordering two each time and he didn’t want to upset Iwa anymore than he already was even if he knew Iwa wouldn’t mind drinking alone.

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Kindaichi is on his third beer when Iwaizumi’s phone rings, Oikawa’s picture covering the screen and he watches Iwaizumi fumble in excitement and drunkenness as he quickly answers. He listens as his upperclassman’s voice changes, raising in octave as they catch up on each other’s day and Kindaichi wishes that Iwa was that interested in his day instead. He raises an eyebrow when he hears Iwa mention that he’s with him, reassuring Oikawa that he’s not going to overdo it on the drinks which Kindaichi is pretty sure Oikawa knows he’s lying. He watches the fall of Iwaizumi’s face before he tells Oikawa they could just reschedule his trip, to not worry about it that he completely understands. 

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Kindaichi is on his fourth beer when he asks Iwaizumi why he lied to Oikawa, how he’s okay with getting such a small fraction of Oikawa’s day, and why he puts himself through something that hurts him so much. To which Iwaizumi just shrugs in response, telling him that Oikawa’s focus should be on volleyball not his lovesick boyfriend.

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Kindaichi is on his sixth beer when the two of them stumble out of the bar, each has an arm around the other’s shoulder in a bad attempt to hold themselves up. Even though it’s spring, the air is cool as it hit his face in contrast to the stuffy bar air. 

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**But if I can't have you I'll walk this life alone  
Spare you the rising storms and let the rivers flow **

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They walk towards Iwaizumi’s apartment even though Iwaizumi fusses that he should make sure his underclassman gets home safely. Kindaichi’s quick to remind him that Kunimi is his roommate and is already on standby to pick him from Iwa’s. 

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Neither of them said anything as they hike up four flights of stairs, the alcohol weighs them down as they struggle to lift their feet as they walk. Heads are spinning and it’s not until they are at Iwa’s door do they feel the need to lean against the wall as Iwa misses the lock multiple times before Kindaichi takes over, opening the door.

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Kindaichi knows he should just say his goodnight and wait outside for Kunimi, but he tells himself he needs to make sure Iwa doesn’t just pass out by the door. Iwaizumi waves Kindaichi in, telling him to sit anywhere, that there’s drinks, beer or water, in the fridge he’s welcomed to before sluggishly walking down the hallway. He’s walking back from getting a water when movement catches his eyes and his mouth goes dry seeing Iwaizumi walking towards him, shirtless and in low hanging gray sweatpants.

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He suddenly feels a smothering heat wash over him, the air becomes suffocating and he hopes it’s the alcohol but he’s positive it has to do with Iwaizumi’s half-dressed state and the confession that is clawing up his throat. He chugs half of the bottle of water, but gets no relief, mouth still uncomfortably dry as Iwaizumi cocks his head to the side, concern on his features.

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“Kindaichi? Are you okay?” He steps closer, reaching out a hand to his forearm, his touch practically burning him, “do you need to sleep here?”

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Jamie Foxx once said “blame it on the alcohol” and that’s what Kindaichi clings to as his mouth moves faster than his brain, the words he’s held closest to his heart trip and fumble as they slip from between his lips.

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**You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain  
Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name **

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“Leave him.” _Fuck._

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Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything, the alcohol clouding his thoughts and derailing any train of thought he tried to follow.

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“Leave Oikawa. Pick me.” He takes a deep breath which does nothing to ease the shakiness of his words.

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**Pack up and leave everything/ Don't you see what I can bring  
Can't keep this beating heart at bay **

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“Kindaichi…” Iwaizumi feels himself sobering up, the intensity of the confession hitting him like an icy wind in the middle of December. 

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“I love you!” Desperation drips from the three words that he throws at the man in front of him, trying to cling to something, trying to convince him that it’s not just drunken words but ones that have been forming since he first met him. “I can be here for you.”

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Iwaizumi lets out a deep breath, watching the way tears start to fall down Kindaichi’s cheeks as he watches him try to compose himself, to cover his bleeding heart, his chest that’s been opened and gutted, that been exposed to Iwa in a haste. Iwa wonders if that’s how he’d have been if Oikawa didn’t reciprocate his feelings, if he had to carry around all those feelings alone, dragging that heavy weight behind him. 

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Kindaichi takes his silence as his answer, he doesn’t really want or need to feel anymore pathetic that he already does. “But I’m not Oikawa.” He pushes his back off the wall he’s been leaning against, twisting the water bottle lid tighter than it needs to be as he walks towards the door, socks shuffling against the carpet.

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“Kindaichi, wait.”

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“Can you just explain it to me? How you’re okay with being with someone who left you here?” He pulls his shoe over his heel, words breaking as they come out. “Cause I just don’t understand. I’ve felt this way for three years and it’s hurt too much sometimes.”

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**Set my midnight sorrow free  
I will give you all of me **

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He wants to reach out to Kindaichi, pull him into a comforting embrace, but he knows that would be selfish, it wouldn’t be fair and honestly at this point the hug would be more to ease Iwa’s guilt than anything. 

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There’s a tug at his heart when he sees how Iwaizumi’s expression changes, the love and adoration he has for the setter coats his facial features as he tells him that he’d follow Oikawa to the ends of the earth. Explains that it didn’t matter if it was five seconds or five days, he would cherish whatever he could get from Oikawa because regardless of their physical location, they were each other’s home at the end of the day. 

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**Just leave your lover, leave him for me**

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He bites down on his bottom lip, tears pricking his eyes again as he digests Iwaizumi’s reasoning, seeing how he really never had a chance to begin with, Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s fate was practically written in the stars. He wants to be upset or angry, but how could he when the person he loves is happy? Then it hits him that he’s feeling exactly how Iwa does and he once again realizes just how much respect he’s always had for Iwa.

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He’s nodding as he finally turns around to face Iwaizumi, trying to let him know that he really does understand and that he’ll be okay, but too afraid to speak in fear his words will come out a broken and jumble mess. Logically he may understand, but emotionally it’s too soon, it’s too early for him to tell Iwa that he’s happy for him. Iwaizumi walks closer towards the door, keeping an appropriate distance from Kindaichi whose has one hand on the door knob ready to bolt.

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“You can wait in here until Kunimi gets here.” He says each word carefully and in an even tone.

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He shakes his head, “I think fresh air might help clear my head.” He opens the door, using his free hand to shoot Kunimi a text.

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“Kindai—”

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“It’s fine, really. I just need some time.” He tosses up a hand, waving as he walks down the hall and towards the stairs, “I’ll see ya around, yeah?”

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“Yeah.”

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**Leave your lover, leave him for me**

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* *  
“I told you to be careful.” Kunimi shakes his head, “here.”

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Kindaichi takes the glass of water and two painkillers from his roommate who thankfully waited until the next morning to lecture him. “I know.”

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“Wanna watch whatever that show was called you haven’t shut up about?”

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“But you said you wouldn’t like it.”

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Kunimi shrugs, “but you will. Do it before I change my mind.”

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Kindaichi smiles at Kunimi, eagerly pulling up the show and pressing play. He’s been talking about it since it was announced and every time Kunimi would just shrug and walk away. He glances over to his right when he feels something poking his arm, Kunimi holding out a small box.

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“Salted carmel? You never share.”

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Kunimi sighs, “I’m never being nice again.”

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I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

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Kunimi leans his head against Kindaichi’s shoulder, not really paying attention to the screen but he assumes something great happens by Kindaichi’s movements. Whether it be a crappy TV show or sharing his favorite food, Kunimi would do whatever to make his best friend happy, that’s what you do when you love someone, right?

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**Leave your lover, leave him for me ******

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**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: kaitycole


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